The other night, against all of my instincts, I went out on a double date. I promised myself a long time ago that I was done with blind dates, and of course, most double dates are basically blind dates. One of your friends and her boyfriend find some loser guy that is bored with nothing to do and ask you to come along for a night of awkward conversation and awful moments.
I never learn.
I went out with Maria, and she’s been seeing this really young guy. Like college age young. So of course, he brought one of his “bros”, whose name I would tell you if I had been given it. Instead, I was told that he goes by “J Money”. Yes, “J Money”. I was surprised to hear that not only has his rap career not taken off, but that he’s not a rapper at all, as I thought only rappers were allowed to call themselves “J Money” when they reached adulthood.
Ironically enough, J Money apparently forgot his wallet, so Maria’s boyfriend had to cover his end of dinner and buy all of our drinks all night. I certainly wasn’t going to fall into that trap! Noting the irony of a guy named J Money not actually having any money with him was probably the only highlight of my night! It certainly wasn’t when J Money basically forced himself on me on the dance floor, or when he asked me, “Girl, what’s up wit it?” I didn’t know what in the world he was asking me, and Maria had to act as an interpreter and tell me that it was J Money-speak for “I would like to date you, are you interested?”
I replied, “Absolutely nothing is up with it. But thanks.”